Something Real

I want to let it all go and let you in, but I’m afraid to go thru this again and feel anything, and everything and all that’s in between
Lies here beneath the hidden fibers of the cotton sheets and endless caverns in my mind that I hide my most precious thoughts from you and I
So I try to bend the rules a bit and let you in, a little at a time, to take that chance, to see where it goes, to venture down the cavern with a soft light to guide my way to you and let my heart feel something real
Something true, to stop hiding from the truth and to learn to smile again like a breath of fresh air that you’ve brought to my life that I can’t imagine is really happening
I look for a sign, for anything to stop me as I continue on but there is none and I feel safe to cross the two way street once again, this time without looking, after a lifetime of hidden caves and prison bars clamped down tight over my heart in fear that I’d hurt again and have to start over yet again
But now I take your hand and know that its safe to come out from hiding, to let you in, to fear no more and to hope that although I know forever is not now, that you brought me a smile where there once was a frown and that I can admit I feel something real once again.

Shouting from the Rooftop

I wasn’t going to, but I am, there’s no turning back now
The wall that was built has been knocked down, crumbled, decimated in pieces
The obstacles have been taken away, the guard no longer stands at the front gate
The day is clear, the clouds move along to let the sun shine through
And I am standing here in my glory, something you have never seen before
But I’ll let you in, to know me, to know all about me, my faults, my greatness, my weaknesses
I have nothing more to hide as I walk thru the door and tell it to you straight
I am no longer shy, not even silence can shut me up now, I have nothing to fear
Because I, like you are afraid, afraid to let it go, to let everyone know, but not today
Today I shout it from the rooftops, bearing my soul to you and to nature that surrounds me
I’ll shout it loud enough for you to hear and only you to hear
I move closer to the edge, outstretch my arms and await the perfect breeze as a breathe in and count to three
The spark is still there – it never left, and I, although fear for my sanity right now, am letting it fly
One
Two
Three
I like you.

Thunder and Lightning

In a dream you came to me in the wind
Thru the thunder and lightning, in the dark night, alone
You reached out to take my hand, you wanted me to understand
All of it, and none of it, and all that you held close to your heart
Is in your hands and now you’ve surrounded me with yourself
Held me in your strong arms once again and I can’t, I won’t, I refuse to let go
Again
This dream has enraptured me so I toss and turn and hold on tight to you and then I see us
We are slipping away in the wind, in the dark night, alone
And I understand all of it now, and why you hold me so that you don’t want to let go
And you won’t, you never will.
Thru the thunder and lightning, my heart in your hands
You made me understand that we both share the same dream.

You Never Left

You flow thru my veins in the blood pumping in my heart invading my existence, thrusting at my core
Every day, every song, every instance of time pulsates throughout my body, my arms, my legs, my neck, my chest, you’re everywhere
And its soothing, knowing I’ll wake up tomorrow after a full nights sleep, of many that I have not had lately, because you’ll be there, in me
The heartbeat that ceases to stop, the muscles that tense at every breath, the waking moments that I have when you’re not there, subside, because you are, you never left.
My veins show the proof, my heart the feeling, my head shakes as I wonder why I ever let you in.
Yet you poison my thoughts, my mood, my same every day routine is tossed about, every song I hear, the hot beats pound thru my car speakers as if you were whispering in my ear Because you are, you never left.

Let it Go

If I let it go, take a giant leap to touch the sky, reach 10 thousand feet above the white clouds that we can only dream of touching
If I let it go, be free to fly high, and say what I want all the time, everything and anything that is on my restless and pressing mind.
If some how I get lost along the way, would you guide my way to say the things I couldn't, wouldn't and wanted to say.
Whether they are meant for you or me, for peace of mind or for someone else worthy of words today
And if I do let it go, fly high, would you in turn say everything to me and never let me lose my way?

I Write So I Don't' Drink

I write so I don’t drink
These words that flow from my fingers to these keys keep me with ease from life, and all its ups and downs and inside outs
And so I write and I do drink – sometimes in the dark of night
It hurts my lyrical rhyme so I lie (a little) but not a lot
He taught me that, and he showed me how to mark a bottle from your sips last spot.
And these words clearly show me, in all my glory, naked on paper from my fingers to your eyes
And I drink, not to make you look better, sound better, feel better, or to think that I can accomplish anything
I drink to ease the tears that might fall right now as I contemplate what happened to me today and yesterday and all the days before
I’ll shut the door and turn the light down, and pour myself another, eh hum, excuse me
While I wipe this tear just one last time today, I can no longer take the pain.
I drink to sooth the restless heartbeat I have when you are only a foot away, inches from touching me, holding me close, closer to eternity
And to calm my inner self, knowing that one day, I won’t be able to keep my hands to myself, drawn to you like an animal, my finger nails will await the day.
I drink because like you, I have secrets too, from my fingers to the virtual world we live in and those who don’t know me, will never know.
And so as I finish writing this, my fingers are cold, the words aren’t as swift as I’d like them to be, my tears have fallen, I am in no more pain, and I think of you and me, and our last drink.